my favorite drug

capsizing my soul
with your violent eyes.
brutal,
they rip in to the heart of me.
i think i'd despise you
if i didn't love you.
you know i'd die for you
if the chance ever arises.

you are the drug i take with abandon
even though i know it's slowly killing me.
addictions are sexy things
that flirt outrageously
with my subconscious needs
like pain and self-destruction.

i just wish i could be strong like i used to be.
but you take that away from me
'cause i sit back and let you.

baby,
you're all that i crave inside.
it used to be chemicals
but now it's your heartache.
maybe someday
i'll be able to hide my weaknesses
and rise above you.

maybe someday
i'll finally die
and then i won't worry
about why i let you
stick pins in my mind.